Saturday, December 31, 2011

Teka - Teki Yang Perlu Diberi Penampar 4

Assalamualaikum.


1) Tikus apa yang ada dua kaki?
= Mickey Mouse.


2) Itik apa yang ada dua kaki?
= Semua itik ada dua kaki.


3) Kambing apa yang kita tak nampak?
= Kambing yang menyorok. 


4) Gurun mana yang tanamannya subur?
= Gurun, Kedah.


5) Buah apa yang ada gear?
= Sebuah kereta.


6) Bunga apa yang warna hitam?
= Bunga tayar.


7) Buka baju, pakai bedak, terjun kolam. Apakah ia?
= Pisang goreng. 


8) Katak diterbalikkan jadi katak. Kopi diterbalikkan jadi?
= Tumpah la.


9) Sungai apa yang paling tajam?
= Sungai lembing.


10) Dalam banyak banyak orang, orang apakah yang tidak berkahwin?
= Orang utan. 












Thank you for reading ;p

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Why We Read Qur’an?

Assalamualaikum.


"Why do we read Quran, even we can't understand not even a single Arabic?"



An old American Muslim lived on a farm in the mountains of eastern Kentucky with his young grandson. Each morning Grandpa was up early sitting at the kitchen table reading his Qur'an. 
His grandson wanted to be just like him and tried to imitate him in every way he could.

One day the grandson asked, "Grandpa, I try to read the Qur'an just like you but I don't understand it, and what I do understand I forget as soon as I close the book.What good does reading the Qur'an do?"

The Grandfather quietly turned from putting coal in the stove and replied, "Take this coal basket down to the river and bring me back a basket of water."

The boy did as he was told, but all the water leaked out before he got back to the house.

The grandfather laughed and said, "You'll have to move a little faster next time, and sent him back to the river with the basket to try again."

This time the boy ran faster, but again the basket was empty before he returned home.

Out of breath, he told his grandfather that it was impossible to carry water in a basket, and he went to get a bucket instead.

The old man said, "I don't want a bucket of water; I want a basket of water."

"You're just not trying hard enough," and he went out the door to watch the boy try again.

At this point, the boy knew it was impossible, but he wanted to show his grandfather that even if he ran as fast as he could, the water would leak out before he got back to the house.

The boy again dipped the basket into river and ran hard, but when he reached his grandfather the basket was again empty.
Out of breath, he said, "See Grandpa, it's useless!"

"So you think it is useless?" The old man said, "Look at the basket."

The boy looked at the basket and for the first time realized that the basket was different. It had been transformed from a dirty old coal basket and was now clean, inside and out.

"Son, that's what happens when you read the Qur'an."

You might not understand or remember everything, but when you read it, you will be changed, inside and out. That is the work of Allah in our lives.


Thank you for reading ;p

Sunday, December 25, 2011

[Lyric] Moves Like Jagger - Maroon 5 feat. Christina Aguilera

[Verse 1]Just shoot for the starsIf it feels rightThen aim for my heartIf you feel likeAnd take me away, and make it okayI swear I'll behaveYou wanted controlSo we waitedI put on a showNow I make itYou say I'm a kidMy ego is bigI don't give a sh*tAnd it goes like this
[Chorus]Take me by the tongueAnd I'll know youKiss me 'til you're drunkAnd I'll show youAll the moves like JaggerI got the moves like JaggerI got the mooooooves...like JaggerI don't need to try to control youLook into my eyes and I'll own youWith them moves like jaggerI got the moves like jaggerI got the mooooooves...like jagger
[Verse 2]Maybe it's hardIf you feel like you're broken and scarredNothing feels rightBut when you're with meI'll make you believeThat I've got the keySo get in the carWe can ride itWherever you wantGet inside itAnd you want to steerBut I'm shifting gearsI'll take it from hereAnd it goes like this
[Chorus]Take me by the tongueAnd I'll know youKiss me 'til you're drunkAnd I'll show youAll the moves like JaggerI got the moves like JaggerI got the mooooooves...like JaggerI don't even try to control youLook into my eyes and I'll own youWith them moves like JaggerI got the moves like JaggerI got the mooooooves...like Jagger
[Bridge]You want to know how to make me smileTake control own me just for the nightAnd if I share my secretYou're gonna have to keep itNobody else can see thisSo watch and learnI won't show you twiceHead to toe, ooh baby, rub me rightBut if I share my secretYou're gonna have to keep itNobody else can see thisAnd it goes like this
[Chorus]Take me by the tongueAnd I'll know youKiss me til' you're drunkAnd I'll show youAll the moves like JaggerI got the moves like JaggerI got the mooooooves...like JaggerI don't even try to control youLook into my eyes and I'll own youWith them moves like JaggerI got the moves like JaggerI got the mooooooves...like Jagger.

Thank you for reading ;p

Friday, December 23, 2011

Teka - Teki Yang Perlu Diberi Penampar 3

Assalamualaikum.


1) Kasut apa yang keras?
= Kasut BATA. 


2) Dalam banyak banyak air, air apa yang berani?
= Air terjun, kerana dia berani terjun. 


3) Binatang apa yang keluar haid?
= Kura kura, kerana dia mengeluarkan "head"/"kepala".


4) Sungai apa yang paling berat?
= Sungai Besi. 


5) Kalau semua manusia jadi ikan, ikan jadi apa?
= Ikan jadi bertambah banyak.


6) Masa kecik dia hitam, bila dah besar dia jadi putih?
= Michael Jackson.


7) Pokok apa bila manusia nampak dan terus berlari?
= Pokok nak tumbang.


8) Sungai apa yang paling kurus? 
= Slim River


9) Ikan apa yang selalu sakit?
= Ikan kembong.


10) Kalau 1 + 1 = 2, jawapan lain dia apa? 
= Jawapan lain salah la.







Thank you for reading ;p

Saturday, December 17, 2011

Teka - Teki Yang Perlu Diberi Penampar 2

Assalamualaikum. 


1) Kenapa lelaki jarang kena penyakit anjing gila?
= Sebab lelaki ni kan buaya. 



2) Apa beza setiausaha baik dengan setiausaha kurang baik?
= Setiausaha baik: 'Selamat pagi Boss'.
   Setiausaha kurang baik: 'Dah pagi ni Boss'.


3) Apa persamaan Michael Jordan dengan Michael Jackson?
= Dua - dua tak kenal korang pun. haha

4) Tukang apa yang kalau dipanggil, dia menjenguk ke atas?
= Tukang gali kubur.


5) Nak mencari sikit punya susah, bila dah dapat buang, apa bendanya?
= Tahi hidung.

6) Apa persamaan kain jemuran dengan telefon?
=  Dua - dua kalau dah 'kringgg' boleh diangkat.

7) Kenapa pokok kelapa dekat depan rumah harus ditebang?
= Mestilah kena tebang, siapa nak cabut pokok kelapa. Gila apa. 

8) Gajah terbang dengan apa?
= Dengan susah payahnya. 


9) Kenapa anak babi jalan tunduk bila bertembung dengan mak ayahnya?
= Sebab dia malu mak ayah dia babi. 



10) Kenapa lelaki ada misai dan janggut?
= Sebab dia lelaki.










Kredit: Facebook Thank you for reading ;p

Friday, December 16, 2011

SEGMEN | Saya , Blog Pelajar IPTA 2011

Assalamualaikum.


CLICK BANNER FOR MORE INFORMATION


i - Nyatakan mengapa korang ambik jurusan tuh ? Rasa menyesal tak ?
= Aku pelajar dari Politeknik Ungku Omar mengambil jurusan Diploma in Programming atau pun dalam bahasa melayunya 'Pengaturcaraan'. Memang susah tahap gaban jurusan ni. Pening kepala otak aku nak ingat semua - semua ni sebab aku tak ada basic pun. Dalam dunia ni mana ada benda yang senang pun, semuanya susah. Tapi kalau dah terpaksa nak buat macam mana lagi? Rasa menyesal? Memang menyesal tahap gaban. Boleh? Haha. Walau bagaimanapun, akan aku teruskan usaha untuk berjaya! Doakan aku. Boleh?

ii - Beri sedikit nasihat buat mereka yang nak masuk U :) 
= Semoga berjaya dan teruskan usaha. Jangan menyesal pilih jurusan macam aku. Boleh? 
Thank you for reading ;p

Thursday, December 15, 2011

Teka - Teki Yang Perlu Diberi Penampar 1

Assalamualaikum.


1) Lubang apa yang rasanya hangat, nikmat dan nyaman?
= LUBANGun pagi - pagi, tarik selimut pastu lu tidur balik.


2) Minyak apa yang yang disukai oleh lelaki?
= MINYAKsikan pertandingan bola sepak Liga-M. Opsss! Salah. EPL la. 


3) Kuih apa yang bungkusnya di dalam, isinya di luar?
= Kuih salah bikin.


4) Binatang apa yang power dalam bab - bab berkarate?
= Kuda belang. Cuba kira berapa black belt dia ada. 


5) Siapa yang menemukan dompet kulit?
= Yang menemukan dompet kulit tersebut tolong pulangkan kepada saya dengan segera. 


6) Pintu apa yang walaupun dengan 10 orang pun tak boleh nak tolak? 
= Pintu yang ada tulis 'TARIK'. 


7) Saya ada 3 kepala,4 tangan dan 5 kaki. Siapakah saya?
= Pembohong.


8) Apa dia "Jauh di mata, dekat di hati"?
= Usus.


9) Binatang apa yang seluruh anggota tubuhnya dekat kepala? 
= Kutu rambut.


10) Nenek siapa jalannya meloncat - loncat?
= Neneknya si Katak.








Kredit: Facebook Thank you for reading ;p

Saturday, December 10, 2011

Tutup Aurat atau Bungkus Aurat?

Assalamualaikum.


Korang TUTUP aurat ke BUNGKUS aurat? Beza TUTUP dengan BUNGKUS adalah amat besar.


Situasi 1: 


Aisyah: Ahmad, cuba teka aku tengah BUNGKUS apa?
Ahmad: Alaaa, nasi lemak.
Aisyah: Aik? Mana kau tahu?
Ahmad: Aku nampak nasi terkeluar sikit tu. Lagi pun aku tahu kau memang jual nasi lemak.
Aisyah: Okey - okey. Cuba kau teka nasi lemak ini banyak ke sikit?
Ahmad: Alaaa, lagi senang nak teka. Banyak lah.
Aisyah: Hah? Macam mana kau tahu ni? 
Ahmad: Tengok BENTUK dengan SAIZ lah. BUNGKUSan besar banyak, BUNGKUSan kecik        sikit. 
Aisyah: Pandainya kau ni.
Ahmad: Bukan aku yang pandai, kau yang tak pandai.
Aisyah: Cehhh, hampeh betul.
Ahmad: Haha.






Situasi 2


Aisyah: Ahmad, cuba teka aku TUTUP apa dengan tudung saji ni?
Ahmad: Hmmmm. Ikan goreng?
Aisyah: Salah.
Ahmad: Telur dadar?
Aisyah: Salah lagi.
Ahmad: Karipap?
Aisyah: Salah jugak!
Ahmad: Fail MQA?
Aisyah: Ishhh. Lagi la salah.
Ahmad: Abis tu apa? Mana lah aku nak tahu apa yang kau TUTUP tu.
Aisyah: Nasi lemak laaa. Cuba teka banyak ke sikit?
Ahmad: Cehhh, Mana aku nak tahu. Malas lah aku nak jawab.


Maka, ramai - ramai pilih la TUTUP. 

Thank you for reading ;p

Friday, December 9, 2011

Muslim and Non-Muslim

Assalamualaikum.


Teacher NON-MUSLIM asked the students MUSLIM.


Teacher: Can you see ALLAH?
Class: No.
Teacher: Can you touch ALLAH?    
Class: No.
Teacher: Then there isn't ALLAH!


*Student raises their hand and says*


Student: Sir, can you see your BRAIN?
Teacher: No.
Student: Can you touch your BRAIN?
Teacher: No.
Student: Oh okay, so you don't have a BRAIN?


*Put this as your entry if you Love and Believe in ALLAH* 



Thank you for reading ;p

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Sengau

Assalamualaikum.






Murid: Selamat pagi cikgu!
Cikgu: Selamat pagi murid - murid, semua boleh duduk.
Murid: Terima kasih cikgu!
Cikgu: Sama - sama, semua keluarkan buku yang cikgu suruh bawak semalam.
Murid: Baik cikgu!
Cikgu: Ada sesiapa yang tak bawak buku?
Murid: Tak ada cikgu!
Cikgu: Bagus! Mari kita mulakan pembelajaran yang pertama.
Murid: Ok cikgu!
Cikgu: Ahmad!
Ahmad: Saya cikgu!
Cikgu: Sebut rambutan.
Ahmad: Nambutan..
Cikgu: Salah! Sebut betul - betul. rambutan!
Ahmad: Nambutan..
Cikgu: Salah, sebut langsat, tembikai.
Ahmad: Nangsat, tmemikai..
Cikgu: Salah! Salah. Cuba lagi keladi, nyamuk.
Ahmad: Keladri, nyaynok..
Cikgu: (Bersabar). Salahhhhhhhhhhhhh! Cuba baca pantun ini.
Ahmad: Mulau mandan nyawuh ngenengeh, ngunung naik nenyemang ningnga, anyur madan ningamung nanah, muni yang maik ningenang nyua..
Raju: Apa mau kata cikgu, Tuhan sudah jadikan dia ini macam la.
Cikgu: (Garu kepala). Kamu ulang sampai boleh!





Thank you for reading ;p